Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year when family and friends assemble, eat too many carbs, over do it on box wine and beer, and get into loud, sometimes uncomfortable arguments that never reach a resolution. That’s when mom sends everyone outside to start the annual Thanksgiving Day Family Football Game. But not all Thanksgiving family football game are created equal.
1. You know the game is serious when weeks before the Thanksgiving Day Family Football Game Grandma has been spotted at the park training.
2. Uncle Richard pulls out his playbook from when he used play some ball back in the “day”. He demands you run his plays, you don’t know what your doing, your not lined up right, you have a bad attitude, your not going full speed, and you get benched.
3. Your cousin Jennifer has brought her new boyfriend, Big Brody, who shows up with his shirt off, was an all-Big Ten linebacker and actually played a season on the practice squad with the Bears. There’s a lot of pressure on Big Brody to show what he can do on a football field, without maiming anyone in his new family.
4. I know your Dad recites the story of his football greatness to you every Sunday with his hand stuffed under his belt sitting on the couch drinking a Girlie Girl Beer but he wasn’t the only one who peaked athletically in high school. Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, “Spare Tire” Dixon.
5. Let’s just keep it simple and save some time and hurt feelings … If it looks like a catch, it’s a catch. What is this, the NFL? If you want want to get the official definition, here it is straight from NFL Operations.
6. If you are just way too stuffed to actually play football then you can always count on the play the Detroit Lions (6-4) vs. Minnesota Viking ( 6-4 ) at 10:30AM MST, Dallas Cowboys ( 9-1 ) vs. Washington Redskins ( 6-3-1 ) at 2:30PM MST, and the Pittsburgh Steelers ( 5-5 ) vs. Indianapolis Colts ( 5-5 ) at 6:30PM MST.
Speaking of … why do the Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys always play on Thanksgiving day? Basically both teams were seeking a bigger audience Detroit has been playing on Turkey day since 1934 and Dallas since 1966 but to get the full story Sports Illustrated has more.
7. Yes, the NFL is cracking down on end zone dancing—but how dare you throw a penalty flag on grandma’s touchdown celebration? She’s been working on her “Dab” for six months, and besides, I think she just broke her hip.
Happy Thanksgiving, and have a great touch football game!